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Writer's pictureAnnabelle E

How to tell when it's finally time to sever ties with toxic family members

Read the full article at Glam



As a society, we're talking more and more openly about the importance of leaving toxic romantic relationships. But, sadly, toxicity can manifest beyond intimate partnerships, even rotting away our most fundamental family connections. As a result, more and more people are struggling with a major decision — whether it's better to endure a toxic family member or cut ties to protect their own well-being.


As it turns out, this kind of estrangement is more common than you might think. A 2015 study in the Journal of Psychology & Behavioral Science reveals that more than 40% of people have experienced a family estrangement at some point in their lives. But what does this relationship-ending toxicity look like in a family environment?


Andrew Roffman, director of the Family Studies Program at NYU Langone Health, tells Parents that toxic behaviors "are missing an essential ingredient — regard for the emotional experience and well-being of another person." Instead of caring or empathetic, toxic individuals are more likely to be abusive, hurtful, or manipulative.


And this kind of relationship dynamic can feel even worse when it's coming from a member of your own family. As Roffman expounds, "Toxicity of this behavior is amplified in families as family life is, ideally, the context where one wants and needs to feel safest, securest, and most cared for and accepted." In short, family should be a safe space. If the opposite is true, and spending time with your family is a major cause of upset in your life, you may need to examine your relationships for signs that it's finally time to step away and enforce some distance from toxic family members.


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